Going back to Cali

**Note: The following blog was actually written in early January 2010 and it is only now that I have found the will to finish it. Hereon, I will probably focus on our impending move to the west coast.

How does that LL Cool J song go...

"I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. hmm, I don't think so
I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. I don't think so"


These lyrics keep repeating in my head like a broken record. Well, it is official--the Graney family is moving back to California--San Francisco ("The city by the bay" or simply "The City" as the locals term it). After almost seven years in the marvelous midwest, we are going "home." What does going back to Cali really mean? Sure, it is amazing that Dave received a promotion (especially in this day and age) and will be VP of the Northwest region--exciting and challenging times ahead work-wise. But at this very moment, this impending move personally means utter chaos, panic, and even depression to me. Let me break it down:

1. Depression because we have to sell our beautiful home in a very depressed market, getting pennies on the many dollars spent sprucing up the homestead (we just finished remodeling our amazing sunroom in late summer for heaven's sake)! Will we have any equity to buy another house?

2. Chaos because our lives are in for a major upheaval, especially for the kids, who have only known Chicagoland for their entire lives (except for Liam who was six months old when we moved here but that doesn't really count). Who am I kidding, the kids are still too young to truly feel the brunt of this decision made by their parents. Dave and I are the ones who will be sitting in the front of this roller coaster, both hands up. Eyes wide open.

3. Chaos, panic and depression because where will we live in SF? What neighborhoods are good? How are the schools?

4. Depression because west coast housing prices are so inflated (even in this current deflated housing market). Will we have to move back into a starter home again even though this next house will be our fourth purchased? Or do we shell out 7 figures for a home in a good hood with good schools?

5. Chaos and depression because Dave will most likely move out to SF first, leaving us behind to prep, sell, and pack up the house.

6. Chaos and depression because Dave's after work hours will be very lonely--devoid of the pitter patter of stomping feet, laughter, screeches, and not-so-funny knock knock jokes. I can't even scratch the surface on how lonely it will be.

7. Chaos, panic and depression because the kids will simply be without their dad for long stretches of time.

8. Chaos, panic and depression because I will be without a best friend, confidant, weekend chef, and temporary relief from the kids.

9. Panic because everything is happening so fast. It's like one day you are living an ordinary mundane routine life and then you wake up the next day and *Boom* your world is upside down.

10. Panic because the "To Do List" is already three pages long--filled with items around the house that need to be repaired, replaced, touched up, stained, cleaned, given away, packed, thrown out, and well, you get the drift.

11. Chaos, panic and depression because this so-called list does not truly encompass all the other emotions swirling around in my bloated brain.

12. Chaos, panic, and depression because I simply can't stop hyperventilating on the inside.

So, keep tuning in to see if my brain actually explodes or if the house actually sells or if I just pack up and leave everything behind to join the husband in SF. A storm is developing on the horizon. Gray skies and dreary days ahead. Is there a sliver of California sunshine somewhere out there, I hope?